a bittersweet reminder

I don't typically blog about my faith - not because it's not the most important thing in my life (it is), but because I get really tired of people talking the talk, but not walking the walk...or at least allowing people to see the walk and WANT to hear the talk. For example, there was this guy on campus the other day. He was older, looked kind of scraggly, was shouting, and had a pretty big crowd gathered around him. I was curious to see what the issue was but kept my distance. I caught a glimpse of him and immediately shuddered with indignation. There he was, with a huge sign on his front and back that said, "You must be BORN AGAIN. Repent while you can!" Do people really believe that they will make a difference? Sure, people might be guilt-tripped into saying the "sinner's prayer," but will they truly change? Will they be discipled? Where's the follow-up with these people? This guy was screaming the talk, but had never given any one a chance to see his walk.

Anyways, I'm writing this faith-themed post because I recently had an interesting reminder. I am someone who over analyzes absolutely everything...I will rehash a conversation or experience over and over until it eats me alive, even good things. The other day someone I know got upset with me and I was startled and a bit hurt. I didn't think I had done anything wrong to warrant the frustration directed at me. So as is my habit, I went over the conversation I had with this person over and over again, trying to determine if I had been in the wrong. I asked God to, "search me and know me, see if there be any offensive way in me" (Ps. 139:24). I'm still not sure if I was wrong in my immediate actions to this person, but the introspection and surrender of attitude led me to allow myself to be scrutinized and searched, leading to the discovery of other areas of my life which are far less than pure.

So my reminder to self is this: every time I am confronted, I should take the time to search and be searched by my Creator through prayer, the Body, and Scripture. Even if I was not in the wrong in the particular circumstance, I will inevitably be shown those areas of my life which do need correcting so that I may continue to be trained in righteousness (1 Tim 3:16-17).

Win some, lose some

Nursing, I have discovered, is like just about every other career out there. Some days you love your job and feel fulfilled, satisfied, and perhaps some warm fuzzies after a good day at work. Other days, the time crawls by, especially after the fourth code "brown." I mostly choose to write about the good days, as those are the days I want to remember...especially since I'm not yet an official member of the nursing profession.

Today was one of the good days, surprisingly so. It started with my alarm rudely telling me to wake up at 4:45am, a most ungodly hour. (How on earth did I wake up this early every morning for middle school, Mom?) I know what you might be thinking...how can any day begun that early turn out "good;" unless of course it's in order to catch a flight to the Caribbean. Anyways, back to the good day.

I was assigned to the Emergency Department. I was quite wary about this as I've heard that the nurses in this particular ED can be brusque, short-fused, and generally over-worked. I also heard from the student who had this rotation last week that she wasn't allowed to do much. The nurses preferred to start their own IVs and caths because they did it quicker. (Now I'm not pointing any fingers here because I completely understand how a student can be a millstone during a hectic day in the ED.)

I purposely got there 15 minutes before the change of shift to hear report and figure out which nurse would be good to shadow. I set my stuff down in the break room just in time to hear all the night nurses warning the day nurses how crazy it would be because all the rooms in the hospital were taken, so none of the patients in the ED who needed to be admitted could be transfered...so the ED had become a mini Medical/Surgical unit. This meant they had to open up the ED 2 at 6am. (ED 1 has 12 beds and is always in use; ED 2 has 8 beds and is overflow. It generally is only open from 0900-2300.) I immediately asked the nurse who would be opening ED-2 if I could shadow him as this meant I would get to see new patients - watch them be triaged, assessed, etc... This was the best decision I made. Of course, it helped that the nurse just "happened" to be awesome. I never thought I would ever want to be an ED nurse, but today may have just made me consider it: I started half a dozen IVs, a foley cath, drew several labs, took EKGs, administered Narcan (did I mention I love this drug?), sang to a little girl, and gave a few shots among other things. I was never bored but neither was I ever frantic. I'm certain if someone had come in who was having an acute MI or stroke, my perception on the day might be different. But I did get to see a good variety of patients from a 3 y/o to a 90 y/o, from an angry lady to a extremely lethargic lady, and the list goes on...

Oh, and I have to say that my biggest victory was starting an IV in a older gentleman for whom the RN wasn't able to start the IV. Why he let a student try after he blew the vein, I don't know. But I'm glad he did... And he's going to get a lot of ribbing over the next few weeks!!

back to the grind

It's been a while since I've blogged. I guess my mind refused to accept the fact that I was no longer on vacation - which went by WAY too fast, by the way. But it's amazing how refreshing simply relaxing and enjoying a couple of weeks with no obligations and no guilt is. You see, every day I have this horrible gray cloud of, "I really should be reading my such-and-such textbook," of course this doesn't mean I actually read a word of it...but the cloud is ever present. But for two blessed, blissful weeks there really wasn't anything I should be reading.

But now school is back in session and that gray cloud is once again hanging over my head. And what am I doing? blogging! ha!

This semester actually has the potential to be interesting. I'm taking epidemiology (zzzzz), Critical Care, and Leadership/Management. Epi is a general class, meaning it's not just for nursing students and is way too easy and all about statistics. My Leadership/Management is an absolute bore. Why am I complaining for the privilege of learning? Yes, I do have a couple of twitches of guilt about that, but not much seeing that it's a class about how to structure a meeting, bureaucracy, and oh, did I mention it's 3 hours long and we're not allowed to do anything in the class? Our instructor refers to class as "meetings" and is very strict with student conduct. I understand that she's trying to turn us into professionals, but it's pretty clear she's used to teaching community college classes where students don't have much, if any, "real world" business experience. We do not need to be coddled and told that we cannot check our e-mail. Of course checking e-mail is rude and inappropriate during class, but students are literally falling asleep in class!

My other class is Critical Care which is just like its name: caring for people in critical conditions. Now, why is this class only 50 minutes away but our leadership class is 3 hours? Who knows! But the clinical should be interesting...ICU, ER, OR, Cath Lab, and step-down unit. It's not as "scary" as I thought it would be and the hospital is surprisingly pretty good!

Alright, enough of this. I'm boring myself with this writing...
Before I sign off though, I'll reminisce about my vacation and post an incredibly cute picture of my niece and nephew wearing the presents I brought them back from Hawaii. :-)